The 80s synth music blared from towering speakers aboard the ferry. Joji ran on to the stage as the cameras went live, marking the first episode of Very Ferry game show. He did a front flip and grabbed the microphone, his hair didn’t move an inch it was caked in so much gel it looked like a baby seal after an oil spill.
“Welcome to Very Ferry the world’s most difficult game show where the body, mind, and spirit are pushed to their absolute limits. Tonight we’re unlocking true human potential as the contestants will face unimaginable feats.” Joji continued his speech while Grigsby and Ira watched from the control room. The production assistant avoided Grigsby’s gaze as he leaned over to see the viewership count. Fifteen million people had tuned in. He grinned.
“Are the live chats open and running?” Grigsby asked.
“Yes sir, waiting for your command to start accepting them.” the production assistant said.
The Very Ferry live streaming chat room immediately was flooded with preliminary requests. Grigsby and Ira looked at the screen. Ira gasped and immediately started estimated insurance costs.
“Amazing. They’re total savages.” Grigsby chuckled.
The show started with the contestants climbing a giant rock wall. The holds were painted purple or red, what contestants didn’t know was that some of the holds are fruit, from bananas to apples. Joji sounded the buzzer and the group scrambled the wall at once. One clown fell twenty feet and the crowd cheered.
The live chats started and were demanding that the other clown fall. Payments started flooding in to make it happen. Once it eclipsed $5,000 Joji was instructed to fire a t-shirt cannon at the clown who was nearly at the summit of the wall. On the fourth shot, a rolled up t-shirt hit the clown’s red hair and sent him falling. Profits tripled as he fell.
“Holy shit Grigs!” Ira shouted, “This is getting out of hand too quickly.”
“Nonsense. We’re satisfying the American people’s bloodlust.”
The show continued, the contestants who survived had to decipher a series of Caesar box ciphers, an old code training exercise the NSA uses. One woman named Tessa was dominating, she was first over the wall and cracked the code in a minute making her the winner of tonight. The fans loved her.
Grigsby patted Ira’s shoulder, “We have a world-class hit on our hands.”
“I don’t know Grigs, the carnage, it’s almost too much.”
“There’s no such thing,” Grigsby waved over the production assistant, “What are the ratings saying?”
The production assistant handed a printed report and Ira couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “That’s impossible.”